I have been blessed with moderately high IQ (144) and a very high ability to process complex information and engage in abstract and creative thought. So, sometimes I feel it is reasonable to share my observations, for those interested to listen. Partly because in this way I am practicing formulating my thoughts and becoming better at writing. I could really use some improvement in that field, especially since English is not my native language. I have also been blessed with potty mouth and lack of political correctness along with very low tolerance and respect for authority, unless that respect has been well earned over time. This is very hard, because I am a really hard critic. I have extremely high standards when it comes to this.
To express myself clear(er) – I respect everyone as my equal, by default. However, those who feel entitled to the kind of respect that authority requires are under severe scrutiny, all the time. I have had many experiences where I would suspend my judgment about something I clearly saw as wrong, because it was shamed out of me. There is this thing called pathological altruism. Other times I held onto a prejudice, not because I came to my own conclusions but because I listened to someone else telling me what to feel and think. There is this thing called brainwashing. Every single time it was a decision that had cost me dearly, so I’m not doing that any longer.
Context is everything
Ability to think for yourself is important. It’s how we develop ourselves into adulthood.
I remember when I thought awakening meant waking up to the lies, in which case I was awake ever since I gained the ability to read facial expressions, before I was even able to think in terms of language. I thought awakening meant being aware of corrupt systems that are plaguing the planet. I also thought awakening meant seeing that this is all a holographic game, playing on a big screen projected by the unnamed consciousness that generates universes. I also thought awakening meant being aware of all of that, and consciously deciding to participate anyway. Which time was I right? All of them, none of them. Context is everything.
We don’t know what awakening is. Ineffable idea of reaching something we cannot even conceptualize or prove it exists. So not knowing what it is, surely we have no idea how to get to it.
If you ask me, awakening is nothing more than a drive built into all beings. A drive that helps us stay on track with the current evolutionary process the universe is conducting regardless of our approval or denial. It also helps us believe we have some say in it, that we’re doing something. It doesn’t look to me like we have any say, at all.
So, for me to say – this is the way to do it, or to do it faster – would be a preposterous claim only Creation itself can own. It is way too multifaceted for an incarnate to grasp, no matter how connected and aligned they are, but we sure can believe we did it and are doing it. And funnily enough, that is part of this never ending process too.
I have had the privilege of diving so deep that I was begging, praying for months for my life to be taken by higher forces. I also expanded so wide and far beyond what I thought possible that I couldn’t grasp the idea of having a life at all, or any kind of individualized thought. I seemingly saved many people’s lives, and many people seemingly saved mine. I seemingly ruined many people’s lives and many people seemingly ruined mine. I have explored heaven and hell, ran with monsters and danced with angels. I have communicated with aliens, as well as viruses and bacteria in my own body. I felt the presence of Jesus, and I felt the presence of demons. None of that came close to what really IS, and to claim otherwise would be an extreme form of folly. And yet! And yet. All I really have is this life.
How neurotic it is that we try to avoid it so much.
I remember uttering words like “You’ll know it when you experience it”, or “I have graduated from 3D” or “I cannot relate to dramas any longer” or “I am beyond this”. And guess what? It was true. But still, nothing changed the fact that my life is the only thing I have right now. Am I “using” it correctly? That is for me and me alone to say. Not one of you brilliant fuckers can know that, because you don’t know what creation has in store for me. I say that lovingly, lol. You cannot know. Maybe you can see glimpses but your puny brains and lives cannot fathom the beautiful complexity of any of this. This includes my puny brain, and my puny ability to tune into higher consciousness or feel myself merging with Source. That’s not the end game, that’s God given. It’s a default setting. Nothing special.
That being said, there’s a lot of things happening on this planet alone that I cannot fathom. We think we see through the game but we really don’t. We might see a level of it or two. The fractal nature of certain events and players right now is so insane, that compared to the level of intelligence involved in this, I am as dumb as a brick. It’s funny to see people dismiss it all like it’s some low tier primitive worldly affair and escape to their non-dual clouds. It doesn’t take much to see that all sides are playing the same game, and to be able to rise above it. But to suspend judgment of its worthiness, that takes a lot. Many who claim to understand what is going on and how resigned about it we should all feel seem to be taking things way out of context.
The I of the Storm
I have no idea what is going on and believe me, I am following everything I can. Down to all the intricacies that make my head hurt when I connect the dots. But what I do see is that due to all these highly complex unfoldments people are getting smarter, more able to think for themselves. Those who didn’t give up on that arduous task surrendering it to the authorities. We are looking for higher intelligence on other planets and dimensions while what we have right here, at home, is beyond our ability to understand. This alone is humbling, and is telling me that we don’t know what we’re talking about when we deem something undesirable or growth impeding.
It’s becoming increasingly obvious to me that fractal nature of the universe works on all levels. God is in everything, higher intelligence is in everything, awakening is in everything. But if I can’t see it in the so-called mundane things, what good is it to me to look for it elsewhere? Or wait for some other “time”? I cannot find any paths that are leading away from it. I cannot find ways to stop the evolution that is happening no matter how hard I try to do it within, just to see if I can, being my own repeatable experiment and a lab mouse. It’s impossible. Even from a perspective of an individual scale, let alone the bigger picture. Even if I die.
Years ago, I have been dismissing the “worldly” or “personal” drama as something only ignorant people are interested in, while forgetting that this drama is another vehicle of creation that uses it to weave its flow. We learn through stories, this seems to be the way we are geared, and right now – the greatest story ever told is unfolding. It’s walking people through an understanding of how amazing our world is. It’s overwhelming, breathtakingly exciting and horrifying at the same time. It’s nudging people to explore, to research, to have their own thoughts and opinions, to bow to no authority other than creation itself. The most dangerous story ever being told. Watch who is getting scared of it and why.
Awakening has no copyright and many people are getting insecure because they are not the ones responsible for humanity evolving. They can’t take credit for it anymore. One eyed kings are under a lot of pressure in an unexpected world of seers. Slowly understanding that their roles are becoming outdated and obsolete, they cannot think of another role to take other than to keep beating the same drum louder. This is the universe, showing itself in full glory. Seemingly chaotic and nonsensical swirls and curves of the flow are perfectly calculated throughout all time and space. The story is already told. We’re the audience and the actors, not knowing the script until it is uttered and animated into being.
My take on it right now? We are only here to enjoy the show and be molded by it while participating, all in, each in our own way, following our common sense and judgment. We are collectively learning to take responsibility for understanding and discerning right from wrong again, after it has been completely beaten out of us through moral relativism that has allowed us to plunge so deep that this kind of epic transformation was needed enough to start happening. Nothing can stop it anymore. What seems like a tragic downward spiral is crushing the world out of its rigid shell.
And this has nothing to do with any old books, teachings, authority or system that came from the past. The guidestones are being set now. We are not following the footsteps of other civilizations, cultures and planets any longer. Not ones that we know of, anyways. Things are reordering themselves with no apparent logic and no apparent results that we can point to without really being “all in”. Faith is only required if we don’t want to participate fully.
The most unexpected and outrageous plot twists are unfolding every day. And if I ever utter the words like “this is only for those who can understand” please slap me across my mouth, because this is happening on all levels. The universe has unlimited reach inside itself, custom tailored storyline for all actors, juicy, intelligent, eloquent and engaging plot twist of the greatest story ever told in our lifetimes is happening as you are reading this. I surely wouldn’t want to miss it, or try to make anyone else miss it either. For all we know, and we know nothing, this might be the reason we came to being at this time. Nothing is as it seems, literally nothing.
I have nothing to teach that the universe doesn’t already have covered, and my role playing is not about convincing anyone of anything. I don’t want anything from you or the world. It’s a creative expression, just like my artwork is. It is also a comic relief, jester’s futile act of pointing out the flaws of authority figures and ideologies. A bird’s song for its own sake.
It is who I am in this moment, and who I am trickles down through already established fractal pathways, animating my customized refined ever-changing melody. I am doing it, and it is doing me. Not one or the other. This is why you shouldn’t be listening to me or anyone else, except for the same reason you listen to the sounds of an effervescent creek. It is not telling you how to be or what to do, it is giving you a gift of its existence, and telling its own story passionately to the ethers, while inevitably flowing towards the river, and then the ocean, and then the sky. And it leaves you with a certain je ne sais quoi.